Episode 32: Coffee Break 3 - Tell me some things...

In this Coffee Break episode, Donielle and Khrystyna play a fun round of Tell Me Some Things... where they discuss hilarious do’s and don’ts for various situations. Grab your coffee and join the laughs! 

Show Notes

Transcript

D           Welcome to Coffee in Conversation for ESL Listening. I'm Donielle.

K            And I'm Khrystyna, so grab a cup and join the conversation.

D           Hey, hey, hey, what's shaking? 

K            Shakin’ bacon!

D           I'm trying to think of like a new greeting every time. I was like, maybe I'll say hola. 

K            Hola, como esta?

D           Do a new language greeting every time for fun.

K            You know what? I think that's a great idea. Every time we should come up with like at least saying hello in a different language. How about that? All right. Sounds good.

D           Okay. All right. I'll work on that next time. My hellos in foreign languages are limited.

K            That's okay. Maybe we can learn some new ones.

D           Yeah, there you go. All right, well, so today is coffee break time.

K            Yeah!

D           Yeah, always good for a coffee break. No, I see you drinking your coffee. Nice. So, you know how I love games, I think.

K            Yes I do. I do know how you like games.

D           Yes. Yes. I know, you know that I love games. So we decided that we would do something kind of along the lines of a game again. And this one is where you ask questions that I have like open answers kind of situation and they can be funny answers. We're really looking for funny answers. And so what we did was I made a list of some goofy questions and you surveyed some people at work, right?

K            I did. I did.

D           And you got some answers and what we're gonna do is I'm going to ask the question, you're gonna tell me some of the answers you got, we'll get probably a chuckle or two in there and then we'll talk about it for a minute and then we'll see what happens because I have no idea what the answers are. I don't really know what I'm gonna contribute but we'll think of something.

K            Here you go. There you go. It was fun because I got answers out of my coworkers, but also really strange looks when I asked them those questions. It was interesting. 

D           I imagine so.

K            We've got some really good vocabulary going on in here. Goofy questions, getting a chuckle out of something. I like that.

D           Goofy, yes. Yeah, chuckle. We have so many words for laughter or ways of laughing. And chuckle is just sort of like a ha ha ha ha. Like not a big, deep laugh, but just something a little humorous, a little entertaining. Chuckle. 

K            A light laugh.

D           A light laugh. Yes, there you go. All right. So here we go. I'm going to start at the top of my list here. Um, because this one kind of made me laugh a little bit and I was kind of imagining this situation. Now guys, remember these are goofy, silly questions and you're supposed to think of something for an answer that is funny. This is not serious at all. So just to make sure that's clear. Okay. So yeah, I thought of this one like, Oh, I, I, I am picturing this in my head and I had some ideas for myself. So. These are things, things paramedics should not say to a patient on the way to the hospital. So imagine this, you're in the ambulance and the paramedics are there and these should be some things that you would not want your paramedics taking care of you to say.

K            So some of the answers I got here are: you look terrible. The paramedic says you look terrible. Or the worst thing the paramedic could tell you when you're on the way to the hospital is, oh, this is my first day at work.

D           Yeah. I thought of something like that for several of these professions. Like, [are] there certain professions you don't want to see on their first day job?

K            Or, I think you're going to die.

D           Well, let's get right to it, huh?

K            Well, I even got this answer. If you're on the way to the hospital, paramedic says, “Whoa, you're the biggest person we've had in here.”

D           You're the biggest person? Oh no!

K            I was like, that's mean. 

D           I'll say, wow.

K            That's just mean.

D           There's an expression adding insult to injury. 

K            Well, that fits the bill, doesn't it?

D           It sure does. It's like you're already down, you're already in a bad shape, and then someone says something to make you feel even worse. 

K            I know, like, oh, you're fat. Yeah. So which, which one do you like out of these?

D           Um, say them again. I forgot now. Shoot.

K            So we had, you look terrible. It's my first day at work. I think you're going to die. And you're the biggest person we've had here.

D           It's a toss up between you look terrible and I think you're going to die just because that's just crazy.

K            Definitely something you don't want to hear from a paramedic on the way to the hospital.

D           Okay, I have a question. Are either one of those answers from you?

K            No, I actually did not answer any of these. I made my coworkers answer them.

D           Oh, I thought you were going to give me your answer too. Oh, darn it. Okay. Um, so I'm going to go with, um, I think you're going to die. That's just, Oh my gosh. 

K            Okay, you're gonna die man, you're gonna die. There's no way out of this.

D           Oh my gosh. So you'll have to tell your coworkers, um, you know, that I, which ones I selected. 

K            I will.

D           Yeah. So I had a kind of a goofy one in my mind. I thought: I wouldn't want my paramedic to say,  “Hey, do you mind if we pick up my friend Bob on the way?”

K            Well, I just thought of another one. Do mind if we go to the drive -thru, pick up some hamburgers and fries? Hey, we'll grab some lunch before we get you to the hospital.

D           Exactly. I thought of that too. Like, Hey, you want something? Can I put it in an order for you? Oh my gosh. That's horrible.

K            Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's a good thing we're not paramedics.

D           Oh, I would never be a paramedic. Are you kidding? I want nothing to do with the medical field at all. Thank you very much.

K            No, I think I should have been a doctor. In fact, I think I should have been a forensic pathologist. 

D           Yeah. I'm sorry, I had to clear my throat and I couldn't find the mute button. So, yeah, no, I mean, I just, I don't think I have the… okay, here's another good phrase for you, the bedside manner, you know.

K            Oh, you can be nice to people. I know you can.

D           You sound like me talking to my rotten cat Cricket. “You can be nice. I know you can do it.”

K            I've seen you be nice to people.

D           I mean, I’m nice, but I just don't know what to say, especially in serious situations--someone's really sick. I mean, I just

K            Well, you had a perfect reply to when somebody is on the way to the hospital.

D           I think you're gonna die.

K            Nothing like the truth. Oh my gosh. Alright.

D           Oh dear, this is taking a dark turn. Okay. Okay. Let's go to a really silly one. Things a chimp, you know, monkey, things a chimp thinks about when he sees you at the zoo.

K            Okay. So I had really strange looks from my coworkers when I asked them this question.

D           I can imagine you would.

K            Yeah, so some crazy answers here. One of my coworkers said that I think the chimp would say, “Let's throw poo at her.”

D           You know what? I'm pretty sure he's thinking that.

K            Probably. Or why are they staring at me? Or, go away, I hate you.

D           I'm thinking the same person who said, “you're going to die” said that one. 

K            Probably, people with dark sense of humor.

D           I'm sensing some hostility here. I don't know.

K            And then another person said, a chimp probably would say, “Stop banging on that glass.” Which I thought, do people do that at the zoo?

D           You know what? I wouldn't be surprised, especially kids, but not even just kids. You know, I volunteer with the cats at PetSmart and they've got the cats there and there's the glass and people come up, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang all the time. And I'm like, guys, seriously? So yeah, I'm pretty sure that people bang on the glass for the chimps.

K            That stinks. What do you think a chimp would say when he saw you at the zoo?

D           Hi, Mom.

K            Oh my gosh! I did not see that coming. 

D           Yeah.

K            That is funny.

D           All right. Oh, so from those I would select probably, well, I mean, it's kind of hard to argue with the throwing poo, right? I mean, that's pretty much, that's going to be what they're thinking. 

K            I’m pretty sure every animal thinks that when they see people at the zoo. It's like first thing. 

D           Yeah, they're like, get out of here.

K            Yeah, I'm what are you looking at? What are you staring at?

D           Okay. Um, next one. Ooh, 10 minutes already into this. I can't believe it. 

K            I know. Time flies.

D           This is, this is a fun conversation. I hope other people are enjoying this as much as I am. 

K            I know, I just hope that as much as we're laughing in here.

D           I know I have to edit some of these laughs out. 

K            All your chuckling over here.

D           Am I chuckling? Yeah, I know. I'm not a very good editor though, so it's probably not going to happen anyway. 

K            Oh, it's okay, that's fine.

D           Okay. Things you shouldn't do your first day on the job.

K            Things you shouldn't do your first day on the job. Okay, so come late and leave early. Right, that kind of makes sense. Wear pajamas to work.

D           Oh, probably no day you should do that.

K            Um, take a nap.

D           Everything you're saying is reminding me of either a TV or a movie show. A TV or a movie show. Did you hear that? A TV show or a movie.

K            And then some more of like serious answers were on your first day on your job, you shouldn't take like a two hour lunch break. But the one thing that everybody agreed on, you shouldn't steal.

D           Man, you got a serious bunch there. What happened? We went from this crazy question with the paramedics to everybody's getting serious, probably because they're at work and they're like, oh, we've got a work question now. We better, you “ahem”

K            I know. Well, you know, I am their supervisor, so they all kind of have to behave.

D           I know, they're probably like, what is she getting at with this question? Yeah, right, right.

K            Right? You know, those performance evaluations are coming up.

D           Exactly, you know, you gotta watch yourself.

K            So you know, the funny thing, those like we're taking a nap. It's funny that they said that I have a co-worker who on her lunch breaks goes into her car sits in the car and takes a nap.

D           Hey, I'm not hatin' on that.

K            Me neither. I think that's really smart. Cat naps get you through.

D           Exactly. And truth be told, I used to work at this law office many, many years ago. And so it was like these two attorneys, there's the big boss and then there was an associate attorney next to him. 

K            The small boss.

D           The big boss and the small boss. And so in the small boss's office, randomly there was a couch. I have no idea why. And he would go out to lunch and I'd be like, “All right, I'll see you suckas later!” And I would go into his office and I would set my little alarm and take a nap for about 45 minutes. Yeah, I sure did.

K            Oh my gosh! That's hilarious. I, you know what? I wish I had a couch in my office.

D           Oh, it was glorious.

K            I would even settle for a little cot under my desk so I can just take a nap.

D           Mm-hmm. Well, that reminds me of something else. Oh my gosh, I sound like the world's worst employee. So there was another time. So I worked downtown Chicago, right? And it was a huge hassle to get public transportation from my apartment downtown. And my friend, my dear friend also worked downtown. She lived near me, but she drove. And she had this sweet parking spot in the garage. I'm like, all right. So she's like, “Hey, I can drop you off at work.” Oh, cool. Only problem is she had to be at work at six o 'clock in the morning. Yeah. 

K            No, thank you.

D           And Donielle doesn't work well in the morning. You know, I'm just not a morning person, but I was like, man, I can't pass up the free ride, you know, because that was pretty, pretty sweet, right? So I'm like, all right. So I would get up, half get ready, you know, and take like my makeup bag and all other stuff. And I would drive down there with her. She dropped me off. I get up into my office and it was winter time. So I had this big fluffy heavy coat, threw it on the floor, plopped right down on top of that and took me a good two hour nap.

K            Oh my gosh! Man, you're a survivor!

D           It was like sleep late, get a free ride in--easy peasy. I mean, at six o'clock in the morning, you can get downtown no problem, very fast. 

K            Yeah, I bet. I bet.

D           I was like, I can actually, you know, make out ahead, you know, with my sleep. If I just do the rest of the sleeping in the office.

K            That's hilarious.

D           Oh my gosh, well we got really off track didn't we? 

K            All right, do we have time for just one more maybe?

D           Let's just do one more. Okay. Okay, here's a good one. Things a doctor shouldn't do while performing surgery.

K            I got some good ones here, actually. 

D           I figured you would.

K            Fall asleep--speaking of sleep-- doze off. 

D           That would be me. Yeah, no dozing off during surgery.

K            Pick their nose.

D           Yeah.

K            Um, have a sandwich while they're doing surgery. 

D           That was the one I thought of, have a snack. Yeah. Uh -huh.

K            Um, let's see. Joke about their patients. 

D           Oh, but they do though, you know?

K            Oh, that's what I heard. Every doctor does it. They make fun of their patients.

D           Yeah. I literally just read something on, I think it was probably BuzzFeed because that's the stupid thing that I read when I'm eating lunch or something. And it was exactly that. It was like secrets from surgeons that you probably don't know. And one of them was, we talk real crazy about you while you're under, under meaning, under anesthesia.

K            I never want to know. So, it’s like talk [about] whatever … I don't know. Um, let's see during the surgery, a doctor probably shouldn't cut off the wrong limb.

D           And by limb we mean like arm or leg. Yeah, that would be helpful.

K            Um, you know how sometimes they kind of mark things where they do surgery. So they say, um, they probably shouldn't write funny things with Sharpie on you while you're under.

D           Yeah right because they have to mark like right or left yeah right so they could be like you know Dr. so-and-so was here haha smiley face you know.

K            And the last comment was the doctors during surgery should not use surgical scissors to cut patients’ hair. To give them haircuts. Like who thinks of that?

D           Like, you know, while you're here, we'll just give you a little trim.

K            Yeah, you look like you need a haircut.

D           That is good.

K            Crazy stuff. I know it's like you never know when you have some sort of a procedure or surgery. I was like, ah, it's not even the procedure itself, but all the things that they're going to talk about you.

D           Yeah, you know, this is not what they were talking about me, but last time I had to have a procedure and just before I went under, I had to actually fast for like a day and a half and I thought I was going to die.

K            Oh gosh.

D           It was, I mean, this girl likes to eat, okay? 

K            I would die.

D           You know, I need my food, right? It's like rough. So anyway, I was so hungry and I was laying there on the table and they're doing prep and there's like five nurses and people hanging around and they start talking about where they're gonna go for lunch. I'm like, y'all, please, you're killing me. I'm so hungry. 

K            Have some decency, people!

D           Oh my gosh, well, this was too much fun. I enjoyed this. I don't know what everybody else thinks about it. Please let us know because yeah, we can totally do this again. 

K            I think we have enough questions and prompts that we can do another a short coffee break on this.

D           Oh, we've got a lot of material here. Like we're comedians. We've got a lot of material. All right. Okay. Well, that was a lot of fun, but until next time, here's to good coffee, good vibes, and great conversations. Cheers!  

K            Cheers!